Perforation Problems

Somehow At some point I forgot the sweetness of words The gems in your mouth The slow perfect shape They became coarse and mechanical Functional  Awkward Purpose-full And pulled out of my skin like plucking hairs from my eyebrows Or like someone said in a book I just read Like pulling glass out of your penis I wouldn't know that part but I can relate But tonight I'm remembering what it's like To close your eyes and say a word Two words Three Softly Full of wonder

I started out today thinking I would write about the dreams I had last night, because they were the kind of dreams that make you believe you might have actually traveled to another world in your sleep. Time seemed to move at the same pace as it does in real life, and everything felt so fleshed out and concrete. Except there were dinosaurs and a vampire. A sneaky vampire. But it wasn't scary. I was like the leader of defense strategy. In the first dream, which seemed like it lasted hours and hours, I was in a giant building and dinosaurs were attacking. Attacking UNSUCCESSFULLY, because I was building up reinforced walls and hiding people behind a secret door. But I knew that at some point I wouldn't be able to fit any more people back there, and I'd have to leave them to die. Leaders of the Dinosaur Defense have to make hard decisions. I could do it. Also the dinosaurs were bright blue and red. Then the dinosaur dream transitioned into a vampire dream, where I was in th...

Here's a question for you: If you say you want to be a writer and yet never seem to be able to make yourself write anything, are you more in love with the idea of being a writer than the actual work itself? My brain says yes, but I don't want that to be the case for myself. I've always wanted to be a writer. I feel so happy when I'm actually writing and when I've actually written, but it's been really difficult to get myself there the last 6 months. I sit down and start something and then become overwhelmed with how hard it is, how I don't know where to go next, how there are flaws in my setup. I never get anywhere, even with the simplest plot. I can't even decide what I want to write. It's paralyzing. It's like my brain is numb. I could make lots of excuses – I'm out of practice. I'm worried about making money, so I spend more time consulting than writing. Now that I'm supposed to be trying this for real, the pressure is cripplin...