Worrying
My baby is sleeping sideways in his crib, his head almost touching the bars. I'm watching him on the video monitor on my phone, partly because I'm worried he's going to wake up and end my "free time" and partly because he thrashes his head in his sleep sometimes, so I'm worried he's going to whack it on the crib bars. I don't know what I think watching on the camera will do to prevent this. I knew having a baby would mean worrying all the time, so that's not a surprise. Really what's surprising to me is how much all of this parenthood stuff is not a surprise. I suppose I did my research? I suppose I paid attention to my friends and my sisters-in-law and all the other people around me who had baby after baby while we weren't—while we were traveling to Greece and Belize and New Zealand and Croatia. Or maybe I just got used to the worrying while we were losing baby after baby, pregnancy after pregnancy. Sometimes I feel like I've been ...