Running in circles, literally
(Psst. I'm going to stop pretending like I actually wrote this on 6/10 for a second. It's 6/26 and I am sorely, sorely behind on posting. I feel this is going to hurt the quality of my posts, but if I don't want to be MONTHS behind, I need to just post anyway. So imagine these are about 55% more interesting than they actually are.)
Hello...it's June 10th. Cough.
This is another one of those pictures that requires me to tell a story about how dumb I am.
Here comes Monday night, and I am all by my lonesome...except for the chocolate hidden in the kitchen drawer. What happens then, pray tell?
Do you really not know?
Fast forward an hour. So I'm feeling a bit guilty because not only have I decimated the chocolate drawer, a bag of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, and a couple Cheryl's cookies (it just happens sometimes -- there's no point in fighting it), but I also slept in that morning and didn't run.
It says something about my psyche that I was suddenly overwhelmed with immense guilt. A couple years ago I would have rolled my eyes and silently hated the person who felt guilty for eating a couple of cookies and missing a morning run. I would have rolled my eyes at the person who ran, period. Now I've become this woman who takes twice as long to order at a restaurant because I want the wheat bun, and the fruit instead of fries, and the dressing on the side...it's horrible. Really I just want nachos, you guys.
I probably could relax a bit, and my brain knows that it's all about balance. But I've also learned that food is always going to be an issue for me, and if I don't stay aware of how easily I can get out of control, I fall off a food-covered cliff. I just love food so much. It has very little to do with actually being hungry and more to do with making myself happy. Michael doesn't really understand that because he's never had that kind of relationship with food, and he's never had to restrict himself. It's not an issue for him, so he doesn't get it when having eaten half the bowl of pudding doesn't keep me from wanting to eat the rest of the bowl of pudding. Mmm, pudding.
And that's okay. I've also realized that 1) I feel a lot better when I watch what I eat and stay active 2) it's totally doable 3) it's okay to eat cookies if you have a salad every once in awhile, too.
It's never going to be easy for me, but I don't have to be good all the time, as long as I'm good most of the time. What's life without cookies and chicken nuggets? Nothing. It's nothing.
Just kidding. (?)
I'm getting off on a tangent here, though. What I mean to tell you about is how I put on my running shoes and ran a mile in my backyard, up and down in circles in a little section of yard hidden by trees.
I can't run with someone staring at me. Especially when I'm running around my backyard like an idiot.
So my only option was to run back and forth behind the trees where no one could see me, my stomach full of cookies and my poor, pathetic, guilt-ridden self soothed for the moment.
You know what, though? The chocolate and goldfish and cookies were worth it.
Hello...it's June 10th. Cough.
This is another one of those pictures that requires me to tell a story about how dumb I am.
Here comes Monday night, and I am all by my lonesome...except for the chocolate hidden in the kitchen drawer. What happens then, pray tell?
Do you really not know?
Fast forward an hour. So I'm feeling a bit guilty because not only have I decimated the chocolate drawer, a bag of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, and a couple Cheryl's cookies (it just happens sometimes -- there's no point in fighting it), but I also slept in that morning and didn't run.
It says something about my psyche that I was suddenly overwhelmed with immense guilt. A couple years ago I would have rolled my eyes and silently hated the person who felt guilty for eating a couple of cookies and missing a morning run. I would have rolled my eyes at the person who ran, period. Now I've become this woman who takes twice as long to order at a restaurant because I want the wheat bun, and the fruit instead of fries, and the dressing on the side...it's horrible. Really I just want nachos, you guys.
I probably could relax a bit, and my brain knows that it's all about balance. But I've also learned that food is always going to be an issue for me, and if I don't stay aware of how easily I can get out of control, I fall off a food-covered cliff. I just love food so much. It has very little to do with actually being hungry and more to do with making myself happy. Michael doesn't really understand that because he's never had that kind of relationship with food, and he's never had to restrict himself. It's not an issue for him, so he doesn't get it when having eaten half the bowl of pudding doesn't keep me from wanting to eat the rest of the bowl of pudding. Mmm, pudding.
And that's okay. I've also realized that 1) I feel a lot better when I watch what I eat and stay active 2) it's totally doable 3) it's okay to eat cookies if you have a salad every once in awhile, too.
It's never going to be easy for me, but I don't have to be good all the time, as long as I'm good most of the time. What's life without cookies and chicken nuggets? Nothing. It's nothing.
Just kidding. (?)
I'm getting off on a tangent here, though. What I mean to tell you about is how I put on my running shoes and ran a mile in my backyard, up and down in circles in a little section of yard hidden by trees.
Proof. Also, I got the mail.
My plan was to run around the perimeter of the backyard, which actually is about the same as a lap around a track. But rounding the first corner, yelling at Clyde for being a wuss (he ran with me for 60 seconds then went back to the deck to sleep), I saw my neighbor sitting on her deck, staring straight into my yard.
I can't run with someone staring at me. Especially when I'm running around my backyard like an idiot.
So my only option was to run back and forth behind the trees where no one could see me, my stomach full of cookies and my poor, pathetic, guilt-ridden self soothed for the moment.
You know what, though? The chocolate and goldfish and cookies were worth it.