Perforation Problems

I went to lunch today with a good friend of mine from teaching days. She's my main writing buddy -- we talk about how much we want to write but how impossible it seems sometimes, or how the fear of sucking at it can keep you from even trying. And then we say we're going to keep ourselves to a writing schedule and end up flaking out, every time. Ah well. Maybe it's like when you quit smoking and it takes 174950 tries before it actually takes. We went to a local Mexican restaurant today, and they had this sign on the door: I don't know why they felt compelled to announce this. Maybe I'm out of the loop and there was some ban on alcohol, or maybe someone had a personal vendetta against Lindo Mexico and sabotaged their liquor license. Either way, I thought this was a highly professional way to reach your customers. 

One of the members of my organic team left today for a job in Chicago, and these were his parting gift to me: Let's talk a minute about 5-hour Energies. I'm a crazy big fan. I know they're not the healthiest thing and supposedly they might kill you, but they make that groggy, 3pm feeling disappear. What's death in the face of a blast of AWAKE? Maybe it's the caffeine, maybe it's the sharp, tangy taste, or maybe it's just psychosomatic, but POW POW POW. I'm in. 

<3

Michael and I have the kind of friends who invite you to a house-warming party and then ask you to submit 1) ideas for what they should name their place 2) penis drawings. I forget the winner. I'd had a little bit of wine. But I do remember the penis drawings being quite elaborate.  Awesome. 

Wedding shower at work. Toilet paper brides. THESE POSTS ARE TUMBLING OUT OF MY BRAIN LIKE GEMS FROM A MINE AVALANCHE. 

I call this "Peel Art."

I'm not even reading over these posts before I publish them. I'm on a roll. This is the only picture I took on the 24th, so, sorry, you're stuck with it: Should I explain it? Or just leave everyone (aka the two people who look at this blog) wondering "WTF?"  My Fitbit holder broke. They made me take a picture of it with the case number on a post it. Do you wish I hadn't explained it? Me too. It was more interesting the other way. 

Here's another picture in the "Taken while Michael is Unaware" series: Bout to watch the latest Die Hard. (Psst. It was not good.) 

I got back to work today after vacation to find my desk had been cheesed. They were on my computer, on the sun lamp, on my trash can, covering up the laser on the bottom of my mouse...everywhere. It was pretty awesome. This is my favorite, on my Oatmeal poster : In other news, I took about 20 pictures trying to catch this guy:  That's the best of the bunch, though it's still not very satisfying. Wily little buggers. 

This looks kind of gross, doesn't it? But it's a Fro Frutti! Just put in frozen fruit and it squeezes out slushie like a mutant play dough toy.* "So, like a blender?" Yes. But not! It really didn't taste all that special, but I think that's because I only used strawberries. A real Fro Frutti Fanatic would have concocted something more elaborate.  *P.S. I miss play dough. 

Somehow I ended up running a 5K. I don't really know how it happened, because a year ago there were few activities I hated more than running. But listen. I'm seriously really proud of myself. In the list of difficult things I've had to push myself to do -- write either of my thesis papers, lose 50 lbs, not eat all the cookies that are right now in the freezer in all their frosted deliciousness -- it's up there at the top. I picked one of the easiest 5Ks for a beginner, which was probably a good idea. The Color Run doesn't really attract serious runners, so I didn't feel like I was too slow. In fact, lots of times I had to slow down to get around walkers or to give the volunteers a chance to get colored corn starch all over me. Or here, where I had to slow down to get my picture taken:  I look like a goober. Here, too:  But I don't care.

I have a sad thing to say. I forgot to take a picture on the 19th. Here's where I was when I realized. I know, I'm driving, I shouldn't be messing with my phone. It was just very traumatic. This is 6am or so on the 20th, and I'm driving to my parents' house so we can go to the Color Run. Some part of me thought, "It's so early...this can count as the day before, right?" No. I've failed. I guess it's impressive that I made it almost 7 months without missing any -- that's 194 pictures since I started on January 6th. Sigh. P.S. When you title a blog post something like :(, Blogger makes the url /blog-post.html. Lol.

At the Baseball Hall of Fame, they have this very poorly produced film that serves as an intro to the museum. You sit in metal stadium seats like a real ballpark, and still images come up on the screen like a beginning film student tried to make a movie using a 1980s version of Power Point. I think I hurt my mom's feelings when I said it was awful -- this was right after she told me it made her tear up, of course, because I'm a kind person like that -- but seriously, they could have done a much better job out of respect for the game and the fact that they're the frickin' Baseball Hall of Fame. But here's the thing: secretly it kinda made me tear up a bit, too. I know that's what it was designed to do -- make people feel the timelessness and universal, good home American appeal of baseball. But it shouldn't mean much to me, someone who probably wouldn't ever voluntarily watch a full game unless someone else paid for it and there were hot dogs or giant p...

A giant fossilized creature? Which do you like better: this blacksmith, or this barn cat?  Wrong answer. It's clearly this rooster or this illegal photograph of a painting.  Sorry, I don't have time to crop things. I'm like 33 pictures behind. 

I went running. On my vacation. Up hills. In really hot weather. I don't even know who I am anymore, and I'm not sure I like me.

Long, long, long car ride. And only 4 pretzel m&ms in a fun size pack? That's not very fun at all, in fact. 

Today I turned 30. I've felt 30 for awhile, so that's okay, but it is a little bit strange to think you're not in your twenties anymore. This year was a little different because we were all getting ready to go to New York, so I didn't do the normal day at the lake or dinner with my family -- instead, I took off work and spent the entire day doing whatever I wanted. Nobody else to please, no expectations, no pressure to be social, just 100% blissful freedom. A day off. Don't get me wrong -- I love my birthdays with my family, and if I didn't do that, I'm not sure I'd feel like it was my birthday at all. But not having anything scheduled on my actual birthday was a really nice break from having Things to Do all the time. So here's one recipe for a Happy Haley Birthday. There are many. First, take sleeping in + Clyde belly rubs. Then add some surprise strawberries and chocolate, yum.  Mix in some food-related birthday signs (and other a...

I had my birthday dinner with my family tonight, and I ended up taking a bunch of pictures. This one is by far my favorite, though. Look at how seriously my dad is lighting my candles. At some point I want to put into words what I feel when I look at this picture and when I think about my dad, but it's 11pm, and I have work in the morning, and I'm behind, and I can't make the right words come when I'm rushed.  The problem with that is when will I not feel rushed or on borrowed time? I'm getting melodramatic and really should stop writing posts for the night. 

I came around the corner today to find my team hiding in my office with cheese and cake. I made them get back down and pretend like I hadn't walked in so I could take a picture. They're pretty awesome.  It's easy to forgot that not everyone works somewhere where you feel like you're a part of a family. The people are by far the best part of my job. Whenever I'm having a crappy day, I can count on an organic team meeting to make me remember why I like what I do. They're good people -- and I'm not just saying that because they got me cookies and a balloon.

These posts are going to get a bit shorter, because I'm still 3.5 weeks behind and I have to move on with my life. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. THE INCESSANT BACKLOG. I'm sorry for it, because I feel like I did have things to say that would have made excellent posts back when I actually took these pictures. They've vanished into the air of vacation. Michael and I always go to the Melting Pot for our joint birthday dinner. We skip the meat course and instead get two cheese courses and chocolate. It's pretty much the best birthday dinner ever. This time the dessert was ON FIRE (bananas foster).

It's tradition in my family to make signs for each person's birthday, so that they wake up to a birthday explosion of good wishes. I made a bunch for Michael -- here are two of my favorites. #1 -- ALL THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU  Of course two of Clyde's toys wish Michael a Happy Birthday, too.  #2 MARIO BIRTHDAY See what I did there? The "Happy Birthday Michael" is coming out of the yellow box, cause Mario hit it with his head. Genius. 

I like this artwork my friend Stephanie left on the chalkboard wall in our kitchen. It gives Clyde a certain sophisticated, Le Petit Prince air.

My brother caught this fish off the pier. We call this cheating, because all he did was drop the lure in between the boat and the pier, and everybody knows that's where the fish live. It's not very sporting. He didn't even cast.  All right, I've done it before, too, and I probably would have done it then if people weren't watching, and if it weren't a matter of principle.  I have conflicted feelings about fishing. On one hand, you're spearing an innocent creature through the mouth, one who was minding his own business until you flaunted some tasty worm in his face. So not only did you gouge his lip, rip him out of the water, and let him hang there gasping for breath, but you also used food as a weapon. That's serious. It's a nasty trick.  Then there's the fact that we're fishing for fun, not because we're struggling to survive out in the woods without any chicken nuggets for dinner. That's not the case. There are pl...

I feel calm just looking at this picture. There's something about being out in the canoe. I think it's because you're surrounded by nature on all sides. You have to slow down and push yourself forward stroke-by-stroke -- there's no roar of the boat motor, no wind numbing your ears, no talking crowds, nobody wanting anything. Just the sound of paddles sliding through the water, frogs and turtles jumping off lily pads as you pass. Other things that make me feel calm:  being in between stacks at a library or bookstore swinging on my brand new swing under the tree in our back yard (you'll see it in a few weeks of pictures) racing on the wave runner on the lake (I know that seems a little strange and opposite of the canoe, but it has to do with -- again -- the wide expanse of the lake surrounding you and the constant whoosh of the wind isolating you from the rest of the world. And you can go FAST) And P.S. ice cream cookie sandwiches are deliciou...