Thirty
(Day Fifty-Five)
I almost forgot to write my blog post because I was too preoccupied cleaning. It's been a busy evening -- I stopped by the store after work to pick up some last minute things for my future sister-in-law's bachelorette party tomorrow, came home and planted the strawberry plants that distracted me while doing said shopping, made mac n' cheese for dinner, and then spent the rest of the night cleaning and organizing and just generally making myself feel okay about the fact that people will be in my house tomorrow. Now my eyes are tired.
With the bachelorette party tomorrow and Easter on Sunday, this weekend's pretty full, but at some point I need to find time to do my photography class homework assignment and work on some Olive & Clyde stuff. There's never enough time. BUT there's chocolate in my future. Cadbury eggs, maybe.
Here's something I've been thinking about this week:
I've realized that at some point over the last five years, I lost that insecurity and always-on-the-outside feeling that I used to have. I don't know if it's just hidden now and would come back out if I were in a particular situation, but when I think about the difference between how I feel now and how I felt when I was 22, 23, 24, 25, it's seriously pretty remarkable. I feel much more confident, much less likely to worry too much about what other people think of me, and much more well-rounded. I feel pretty okay in my own skin. It's a great feeling. Thirty is a pretty great age to be.
What caused this change? I'm sure a lot of it is meeting Michael, and some is losing weight, but I think a big chunk of it is my job, too. I've learned so much in the last five years -- I feel competent and knowledgeable, and like I have valuable skills and expertise. I can do a lot more things now than I could when I graduated college, or even when I left teaching. And the opportunities available to me now -- if you had told me five years ago I would have the knowledge needed to start my own company, or that I would have spoken at conferences, or that I would have done consulting work, I'd have thought that was ridiculous. But all those things are true.
So I feel pretty good about me at this precise moment in time. What's better is I feel really excited about the future -- there are a lot of paths I could take. And there's still a lot I want to learn and do.
I kinda wish I could go back to that 14-year-old version of me, the one sitting in homeroom, mortified because a girl introduced her to a new kid as "the girl you don't need to meet because she's a dork," and tell her it's really okay. Things will be fine. Really.
Here's a picture of Clyde cuddling his snake:
I almost forgot to write my blog post because I was too preoccupied cleaning. It's been a busy evening -- I stopped by the store after work to pick up some last minute things for my future sister-in-law's bachelorette party tomorrow, came home and planted the strawberry plants that distracted me while doing said shopping, made mac n' cheese for dinner, and then spent the rest of the night cleaning and organizing and just generally making myself feel okay about the fact that people will be in my house tomorrow. Now my eyes are tired.
With the bachelorette party tomorrow and Easter on Sunday, this weekend's pretty full, but at some point I need to find time to do my photography class homework assignment and work on some Olive & Clyde stuff. There's never enough time. BUT there's chocolate in my future. Cadbury eggs, maybe.
Here's something I've been thinking about this week:
I've realized that at some point over the last five years, I lost that insecurity and always-on-the-outside feeling that I used to have. I don't know if it's just hidden now and would come back out if I were in a particular situation, but when I think about the difference between how I feel now and how I felt when I was 22, 23, 24, 25, it's seriously pretty remarkable. I feel much more confident, much less likely to worry too much about what other people think of me, and much more well-rounded. I feel pretty okay in my own skin. It's a great feeling. Thirty is a pretty great age to be.
What caused this change? I'm sure a lot of it is meeting Michael, and some is losing weight, but I think a big chunk of it is my job, too. I've learned so much in the last five years -- I feel competent and knowledgeable, and like I have valuable skills and expertise. I can do a lot more things now than I could when I graduated college, or even when I left teaching. And the opportunities available to me now -- if you had told me five years ago I would have the knowledge needed to start my own company, or that I would have spoken at conferences, or that I would have done consulting work, I'd have thought that was ridiculous. But all those things are true.
So I feel pretty good about me at this precise moment in time. What's better is I feel really excited about the future -- there are a lot of paths I could take. And there's still a lot I want to learn and do.
I kinda wish I could go back to that 14-year-old version of me, the one sitting in homeroom, mortified because a girl introduced her to a new kid as "the girl you don't need to meet because she's a dork," and tell her it's really okay. Things will be fine. Really.
Here's a picture of Clyde cuddling his snake: