IF IF IF IF
So, I think I've settled on the topic of my first "novel." NOVEL. Even as I type that I have second thoughts. It feels like a really serious thing to have decided. Is it what I should be writing about? Is it something I can do well? Am I going to succeed at this, or fail? If I fail, does that mean I stop completely, or do I try something else? It could be a year before I actually finish this one. What if it sucks and then I have to just put it in a virtual drawer and forget about it?
BUT. The thing is that I actually have to write something. And I feel reasonably good about having enough to say about this topic, and I can vaguely see the shapes of it coming together in my head into something that will mean something to people. If I do it well. If I succeed.
IF IF IF IF.
I'm sitting in a coffee shop in Fountain Square right now, writing with my friend Sarah. It works well because whenever I mention the "IFs" she just says, "It doesn't matter right now. Worry about it later. Keep writing." I think that's what I need right now.
So anyway. I've decided on a topic, and I've made a list that's 3 pages long of different scenes I could write. I've written 3 or 4 little sections of it, and I feel reasonably good about them. Now it's just a matter of working my way down the list. I'm still not sure what the overall point is, but I'm going to have faith that I'll get there eventually. I won't ever get there if I don't start.
I'm a little mad at myself because my idea is more a general topic, not a plot line. I always have problems with plot lines. If I could come up with a "story," then I could attack the various parts of the story. Be traditional. Exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, denouement. But instead I have a subject I want to write about, and a bunch of scenes related to that subject, and something I want to say that I haven't exactly identified yet. One piece at a time, right?
I started working and felt like I needed to get this stuff out, so I switched to a blog post. But now it occurs to me that maybe I'm just doing the IF in blog form right now, and I should just stop worrying about it and keep writing.
BUT. The thing is that I actually have to write something. And I feel reasonably good about having enough to say about this topic, and I can vaguely see the shapes of it coming together in my head into something that will mean something to people. If I do it well. If I succeed.
IF IF IF IF.
I'm sitting in a coffee shop in Fountain Square right now, writing with my friend Sarah. It works well because whenever I mention the "IFs" she just says, "It doesn't matter right now. Worry about it later. Keep writing." I think that's what I need right now.
So anyway. I've decided on a topic, and I've made a list that's 3 pages long of different scenes I could write. I've written 3 or 4 little sections of it, and I feel reasonably good about them. Now it's just a matter of working my way down the list. I'm still not sure what the overall point is, but I'm going to have faith that I'll get there eventually. I won't ever get there if I don't start.
I'm a little mad at myself because my idea is more a general topic, not a plot line. I always have problems with plot lines. If I could come up with a "story," then I could attack the various parts of the story. Be traditional. Exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, denouement. But instead I have a subject I want to write about, and a bunch of scenes related to that subject, and something I want to say that I haven't exactly identified yet. One piece at a time, right?
I started working and felt like I needed to get this stuff out, so I switched to a blog post. But now it occurs to me that maybe I'm just doing the IF in blog form right now, and I should just stop worrying about it and keep writing.