Focusing?
Sitting in a coffee shop, supposed to be writing. Two writing projects in my head – one of them a new one I was excited about a few hours ago. But I'm tired, and my head won't settle and focus. I have a headache, a dull throbbing in my sinuses that's been plaguing me all week. Weather changes fuck with my head. My stomach feels a little empty – what am I going to make for dinner? Should probably figure it out before Michael heads home from Cincinnati. It has to be something he won't mind eating but something that doesn't blow up my attempts to be healthy. What haven't we had in awhile? Do I have time to stop at the grocery after this? We have no milk.
My mind skitters to a phone call I have early tomorrow morning, and the work that will come out of it. He's a doctor I'm interviewing about relationship counseling for a campaign for a client. If I don't get enough info out of him – or the right info – it's going to make the content harder to write, and I want to be done with it. I need to make the most of the 30 minutes he can give me.
I'm sore right between my shoulder blades. Must be from the weights this morning. I walk through my schedule for the day, for the weekend, for early next week. A big three hour meeting tomorrow afternoon – I need to brush up on that project beforehand. A big three hour meeting on Monday that's probably going to result in new work. Another project I'm supposed to finish by the 3rd, but I forgot about being gone Memorial Day weekend, so I should probably try to have it done by Thursday to be safe. The one girl who I sent a proposal to last week still hasn't responded. All these projects are puzzle pieces that need to be plugged together in my calendar.
Is Sarah writing? She looks like she's writing. Why am I so unproductive?
Two emails in my inbox I haven't dealt with yet. Clyde's dog sitter – making sure she's still good with watching him next weekend, finding out if I need her Monday or not. Worrying about whether or not he's going to be good or if he's going to growl at her. If it doesn't go well, who am I going to find to watch him on the 4th?
Olive & Clyde cards that need to be picked up tomorrow before my afternoon meeting – hopefully, at least, assuming they're ready. If not it'll have to be Monday. Proofs for the new door hangers, too. And I still haven't written those product listings. A store that emailed me to say they're out of Father's Day cards, but they shouldn't be – Moriya just dropped off the ones I sent her yesterday. Two card orders to fill when I get home. It's cold in here.
But stop, Haley. Shut down your head, shut down your stomach, shut down your email. This is supposed to be time to get lost, time to do what you really want to be doing. Not client proposals or repetitive blog posts or tracking and invoicing and conference calls. Writing. Making things up. Telling stories. I feel desperate, unproductive, inefficient. It's almost June. I'm letting time go by, and what do I have to show for it?
It's so much easier to zone out, to just stare at Facebook at all the bullshit people think they need to share. To get another latte. To close my eyes. To answer my emails and cross things off my list so I can breathe. To phone it in, to default to what's easy, to what I know I can do well.
B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.
My mind skitters to a phone call I have early tomorrow morning, and the work that will come out of it. He's a doctor I'm interviewing about relationship counseling for a campaign for a client. If I don't get enough info out of him – or the right info – it's going to make the content harder to write, and I want to be done with it. I need to make the most of the 30 minutes he can give me.
I'm sore right between my shoulder blades. Must be from the weights this morning. I walk through my schedule for the day, for the weekend, for early next week. A big three hour meeting tomorrow afternoon – I need to brush up on that project beforehand. A big three hour meeting on Monday that's probably going to result in new work. Another project I'm supposed to finish by the 3rd, but I forgot about being gone Memorial Day weekend, so I should probably try to have it done by Thursday to be safe. The one girl who I sent a proposal to last week still hasn't responded. All these projects are puzzle pieces that need to be plugged together in my calendar.
Is Sarah writing? She looks like she's writing. Why am I so unproductive?
Two emails in my inbox I haven't dealt with yet. Clyde's dog sitter – making sure she's still good with watching him next weekend, finding out if I need her Monday or not. Worrying about whether or not he's going to be good or if he's going to growl at her. If it doesn't go well, who am I going to find to watch him on the 4th?
Olive & Clyde cards that need to be picked up tomorrow before my afternoon meeting – hopefully, at least, assuming they're ready. If not it'll have to be Monday. Proofs for the new door hangers, too. And I still haven't written those product listings. A store that emailed me to say they're out of Father's Day cards, but they shouldn't be – Moriya just dropped off the ones I sent her yesterday. Two card orders to fill when I get home. It's cold in here.
But stop, Haley. Shut down your head, shut down your stomach, shut down your email. This is supposed to be time to get lost, time to do what you really want to be doing. Not client proposals or repetitive blog posts or tracking and invoicing and conference calls. Writing. Making things up. Telling stories. I feel desperate, unproductive, inefficient. It's almost June. I'm letting time go by, and what do I have to show for it?
It's so much easier to zone out, to just stare at Facebook at all the bullshit people think they need to share. To get another latte. To close my eyes. To answer my emails and cross things off my list so I can breathe. To phone it in, to default to what's easy, to what I know I can do well.
B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.