Typing songs
I used to do this thing when I was younger and feeling dramatic and emo in that way that only a teenager / early 20-something can – I'd sit at my computer, wanting to write but unable to, listening to music and feeling the immense weight of the world on my privileged, naive shoulders. I'd start typing the lyrics to the songs I was listening to in time with the music, as if it were a way to sing with written words, each letter shaping into existence on the screen like notes in the air.
Alan Jackson's "Remember When" has been in the list ever since a summer night at the lake, when somebody started playing it and my grandpa got teary eyed:
"This song is about your grandma and I," he said. "It's how it was."
She put him out
like the burning end
of a midnight cigarette.
That's one of my favorite images ever.
It was a bit of a game – can I type the words fast enough to keep up with the music? Can I space them out visually on "paper" so they mimic what I hear? The life and times of a young English nerd! If only everyone could experience the joy I feel in typing out someone else's single, perfect phrase. Yeats or Bieber, it doesn't matter.
I don't spend a lot of time listening to music lately, at least not as much as I used to in the days of Napster and Limewire. (Hi, college!) But some nights it's just what you gotta do. Tonight while working I stumbled on my "Sad" playlist. Yeah, that's what I named it. It probably should be called "Contemplative" instead of "Sad," but sometimes there's no difference.
(Sidenote: I have a "Happy" playlist, too. Interestingly a lot of the songs are the same.)
I found myself typing out lyrics again, just enjoying the words and the patterns. There are a few songs I go to whenever I feel sad or nostalgic or melancholy – many of them seem to be country songs, which is probably because that's what my mom listened to when I was growing up. And good country – old school country, not pop country – has a lot of poetry to it sometimes.
That song reminds me of this one-page short story by Virginia Woolf that always haunted me a little bit. It's called "A Haunted House," so I guess that's probably what she was going for.
Sometimes new songs get added to my "nostalgic" repertoire, and sometimes old ones drop out, but really there's not a lot of changeover. This one was added after our wedding. It's simple and sweet, and it's a good fit not only because it was our first dance but because the line about sun reminds me of my grandpa, who used to sing "You are my sunshine" to me when I was a little girl.
It was a bit of a game – can I type the words fast enough to keep up with the music? Can I space them out visually on "paper" so they mimic what I hear? The life and times of a young English nerd! If only everyone could experience the joy I feel in typing out someone else's single, perfect phrase. Yeats or Bieber, it doesn't matter.
I don't spend a lot of time listening to music lately, at least not as much as I used to in the days of Napster and Limewire. (Hi, college!) But some nights it's just what you gotta do. Tonight while working I stumbled on my "Sad" playlist. Yeah, that's what I named it. It probably should be called "Contemplative" instead of "Sad," but sometimes there's no difference.
(Sidenote: I have a "Happy" playlist, too. Interestingly a lot of the songs are the same.)
I found myself typing out lyrics again, just enjoying the words and the patterns. There are a few songs I go to whenever I feel sad or nostalgic or melancholy – many of them seem to be country songs, which is probably because that's what my mom listened to when I was growing up. And good country – old school country, not pop country – has a lot of poetry to it sometimes.
I don't pick up the mail, I don't pick up the phone.
I don't answer the door – I'd just soon be alone.
I don't keep this place up, I just keep the lights down.
I don't live in these rooms – I just rattle around.
I'm just a ghost in this house.
I'm just a shadow upon these walls.
As quietly as a mouse, I haunt these halls.
I'm just a whisper of smoke.
I'm all that's left of two hearts on fire
that once burned out of control.
You took my body and soul.
I'm just a ghost in this house.
That song reminds me of this one-page short story by Virginia Woolf that always haunted me a little bit. It's called "A Haunted House," so I guess that's probably what she was going for.
Sometimes new songs get added to my "nostalgic" repertoire, and sometimes old ones drop out, but really there's not a lot of changeover. This one was added after our wedding. It's simple and sweet, and it's a good fit not only because it was our first dance but because the line about sun reminds me of my grandpa, who used to sing "You are my sunshine" to me when I was a little girl.
When sorrow holds you in its arms of clay,
it's raindrops that fall from your eyes.
Your smile is the sun, come to earth for the day.
You brighten my blackest of skies.
You are the rose of my heart.
You are the love of my life,
a flower not faded nor falling apart.
If you're cool, let my love keep you warm,
Rose of my Heart.
Hard times or easy times, what do I care?
There's nothing I'd change if I could.
The tears and the laughter
are things that we share.
Your hand in mine makes it good.
Alan Jackson's "Remember When" has been in the list ever since a summer night at the lake, when somebody started playing it and my grandpa got teary eyed:
"This song is about your grandma and I," he said. "It's how it was."
Remember when
I was young,
and so were you.
Time stood still,
and love was all we knew.
You were the first – so was I.
Made love and then we cried.
Remember when?
Remember when
we said when we turned gray,
when the children grow up
and move away,
we won't be sad,
we'll be glad
for all the life we've had,
and we'll remember when.
Maybe they're all sappy songs, but I don't care. I used to think poetry could be my religion. I'm not sure I've ever understood the beauty of the world more than when I have the right words on my tongue.
1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxTBRFF7mBM
2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAnlwKnRrZw
3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vob8dpJ45f4
4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTA2buWlNyM