Stupid Running
I love the idea of running. There are even days where I say, "Yes, going on a run seems like a good idea. I want to do that." I can picture my legs propelling my body forward, feel the satisfaction from making my muscles work together in machine-like synchronism. "I am a RUNNER," I say. "I ENJOY THIS."
The problem is that it's all a lie. This is not what running feels like. Running makes you hot, and you're tired, and you've already had a long day, so with every step all you really want to do is JUST FREAKIN' STOP AND LAY DOWN. You get stitches in your side, your face burns like an oven, it's hard to breathe, and every second is just so ridiculously boring.
But...then you're done. You think, "Oh, that wasn't so bad." You even feel good about yourself. Look how healthy you are. YOU'RE A RUNNER. "I'll do it again in a couple days," you say.
I've been on the edge of quitting ever since finishing the Color Run in July, but I can't quite bring myself to let go of that belief that I'm a runner. In an effort to keep myself going, I've tried listening to podcasts, making new playlists, and now, using an app that makes you think you're being chased by zombies. I'm also trying some new running paths:
The problem is that it's all a lie. This is not what running feels like. Running makes you hot, and you're tired, and you've already had a long day, so with every step all you really want to do is JUST FREAKIN' STOP AND LAY DOWN. You get stitches in your side, your face burns like an oven, it's hard to breathe, and every second is just so ridiculously boring.
But...then you're done. You think, "Oh, that wasn't so bad." You even feel good about yourself. Look how healthy you are. YOU'RE A RUNNER. "I'll do it again in a couple days," you say.
I've been on the edge of quitting ever since finishing the Color Run in July, but I can't quite bring myself to let go of that belief that I'm a runner. In an effort to keep myself going, I've tried listening to podcasts, making new playlists, and now, using an app that makes you think you're being chased by zombies. I'm also trying some new running paths:
This is my current favorite. If I go at the right time, it's quiet and pretty isolated, and because it's a loop, there's no thought involved. I know how many times I have to go around to make my three miles.
So we'll see. I'm down to running once or twice a week, but that's better than no times a week, right?